Unlock the magic of sensual smooches.
When last did you enjoy kissing? Real sensual smooches! I remember when it made my butterflies go into overdrive. It didn’t really matter if the object of my affection could kiss or not, it was so exciting and the taste of him lingered for hours after.
Then I realised that some could kiss better than others and kissing became a way to judge whether I would consider taking things to the next step. If he kissed with tight lips and the kiss felt no better than making out with a glass bottle, chances are he had issues I didn’t want to deal with. If he forced his tongue down my throat, like the blades of a helicopter, he was a bully, with no skill and chances are that he was not up to taking instruction. He too would be deleted from the list of potential.
But if he kissed with just the right amount of pressure and tongue, at just the right angle well then the possibilities were just starting. That kiss feels like squishing a ripe strawberry into my mouth and feeling the pulp against my palate. That’s what a good kiss feels like to me. It’s delicious, memorable and lingers on the lips. If you don’t kiss like this – learn. Ask your partner for honest feedback and be prepared to learn from it.
If you dare say ‘my previous girlfriend didn’t complain’, you deserve to have your tongue surgically removed.
I often have random thoughts about who the first person was to explore kissing. It’s a bit like who was the first person to milk a cow?
Back to kissing. I’d like to send that first person a thank you letter. Kissing is just the right amount of intimacy for me but with our rushed lives kissing is all about hello and goodbye. This exercise is all about getting you to stay just a little longer.
I don’t know how many more times I will say this – but timing is everything. Do not try to do this exercise while the Lions are playing in the finals this weekend. I will bite you!
You have to start with basic oral hygiene. If you have a friend whose breath always smells, tell them. They either haven’t eaten or they must get their teeth sorted. Either way a smelly breath is a passion killer. Before you embark on this exercise brush your teeth and floss. Get rid of your lip gloss, you want to be au natural for this.
You are not filming a porn movie so there is no need to look like you are about to consume the other person. Put your tongue, this is no time to be propeller mouth. A slight tongue tip flick may be appropriate later on.
Part of this exercise is exploring the rest of the body and all your lips. So you may want to freshen up. I cannot bear the thought of putting grubby anything, especially hands near my mouth.
Giggling is a possible outcome, but perfectly acceptable. Remember sex is meant to be fun.
Start with soft, gentle lip brushes. They are so soft they almost form a whisper. Explore each other’s crevices, nooks and crannies with this technique. Go at the same time or one at a time. It is often very exciting to be the person just receiving pleasure without having to oblige in return.
By exploring the entire body, front and back, up and down you will discover erogenous zones you never knew you had. One such place is on your hand. Let your thumb and pointing finger touch. Now lick, nibble, kiss and suck the part where the fingers meet (opposite end to your nails). I am convinced that there has to be a nerve directly to your genitals, male and female. It’s my party trick!
This exercise should take about 25 minutes. Remember what I said about timing. Make sure you have time and all the chores are taken care of otherwise neither of you will relax and the reconnect will not work.
As you get into the exercise the pressure can increase. As you explore the body avoid prime real estate areas until later or until you are invited. By prime real estate I mean breasts and genitals. This exercise is specifically for exploring alternative areas of pleasure.
This exercise can also include using the breath. If you lick an area slightly (not a slobber) try a slow long breath on the area. Then inhale and feel the difference.
When and if you are ready you can try some ‘auparishaka’ a fancy Tantra word for genital kissing. Your lips and your lips are definitely linked. There may even be pleasure about.
Kisses till next week.
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