When I’m confused, angry, heart sore, disappointed or any of those difficult emotions I go for a walk on a field near my house. I do this to clear my head, get perspective and find a way to deal with the problem at hand. This morning I stomped around that field so hard I think I left a trail. Stupid people! How do we deal with stupid people?
This particular walk was caused by a post I saw on Facebook. It was a picture and post about a restraint. Now usually this would excite me but this particular restraint device is called the anti masturbation cross for children from the age of 5! I kid you not. Even on my most creative days I couldn’t come up with this one.
It invites you to place your child in this harness to ‘safely train your children to keep their hands off their dangerous sin zones!’ It goes on to say that the arm immobilizer and the papoose cross work together to safely secure a ‘self raping child’! They even offer an accessory called an arm immobilizer that slides under a board for ‘firm spread eagle position’! My horror knows no bounds.
I know and understand that everyone has their own belief and you are entitled to it but when it comes to children I draw the line and this dear reader crosses a line. This apparatus is child abuse and parents who purchase such a device and put a child in it should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
Here is what I imagine for the future of a child who has been subjected to this abuse. I’ve watched enough CSI and Criminal Mind episodes to know that nothing good is going to come from locking your child up in this device and shaming them about their body. Before you tell me that it’s TV and not real life I can tell you that I have spoken to many adults who have a dysfunction as a result of a childhood trauma.
I see a serial rapist and killer in a future episode with this particular restraint as the cause of a mental illness. Nothing good ever comes from shaming sex, masturbation and normal biological functions. If you are a religious fanatic teach your children the difference between right and wrong, teach them about respect for themselves and others. Teach them the difference between love and lust. Teach them that the body is sacred and a gift from the deity you worship.
I also see a bondage fetish in the making. It’s alleged that a fetish is imprinted on the psyche before the age of 7. Can you just imagine what is happening to the poor child restrained in this device? No education about sex and sexuality, having perfectly normal biological urges and being punished for it by being strapped in a harness spreadeagled.
I can just imagine the sexual release that is going to happen when the poor child eventually gets its hands on its genitals because dear parent masturbation can happen anywhere. A child that is terrified of being caught is far more likely to suffer from premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, vaginismus or inability to orgasm. It’s a world of pain and humiliation waiting for these children in adulthood.
Dangerous sin zones! Where are we talking about? The off ramp at Grayston Drive, where you get hijacked or robbed? Seriously this is the 21st Century and the genitals are still considered sin zones? Explain it to me, please!
I believe that sex is dangerous only when it is kept in the dark. When it is treated as shameful and sinful. When it is not spoken about or respected. When it is treated as something other than biology and the human condition. I will lay odds on the fact that children being subjected to this abuse will be kinkier and more dangerous than a child is not. This child will grow up to believe the porn myth of sex and will not function normally. Just as a disclaimer I do think that some kinky is a good thing!
I’ve seen too many clients with a sexual dysfunction that makes them unhappy to believe otherwise.
Please tell me what is -self rape? Does the imbecile who wrote the word know anything about rape? What the act of rape is, how it affects the victim and the psyche of the perpetrator? What on earth are they talking about? Does this child who is touching for pleasure and exploration fall into the category of abuser? How can the thought even be possible? I’m outraged that something as prevalent and damaging as rape can be breathed in the same sentence.
I hope that you are as disturbed as I am by parents strapping their children down in a firm spread eagle position because they dared to do what is normal. These people continue to get away with it and permanently damage their children if we stay silent and only talk about sex behind closed doors.
I was asked recently at an event what gives me the confidence to talk about sex. I think I was born a revolutionary. I believe I was born to be the fearless teller of necessary truths. I have a water bottle that I use on my head clearing walks, it says If not me, then who?
I ask you the same question, if not you, then who?
As always you can email me Sharon@lolamontez.co.za
This article first appeared in the Saturday Star.