A solution Sex trafficking?
My mind is occupied with the underbelly of sex at the moment. When you read this I will be on my way to the Global Women Deliver Conference in Copenhagen. Yes my visa finally came through. I’m attending the conference in my capacity as a sexual health educator and expert. If you’d like to follow me during the conference you can do so by following me on twitter. My user name is @SaSexpert.
One of the issues being discussed at this conference is Human Trafficking, something none of us wants to think about or believe but I’ve heard some horrific tales of late. These stories are not from people who know someone who… but from friends I know well. They escaped a ‘Taken’ situation, long before the movie came out and only did so because they knew what to look out for.
I also recently heard about an alleged trafficking ring that was broken in Limpopo just this past week and then of course there is a series I like to watch. This week’s episode had the team rescue some girls from being sold and one in particular, who was a virgin. Now I know it’s just a TV program but they get their stories from somewhere don’t they?
And then the penny dropped. The human’s being trafficked are almost always women. Young women and those that fetch the highest prices are almost certainly virgins!
I know I’m generalising here but I can’t shake the feeling that at the bottom of all this is sex. These girls are not being traded because they are going to be farm workers or IT coders. Yes they may have to cook and clean but it will not be a core competency. Their primary function will be sex slave.
So I have to ask the question: If sex wasn’t such a taboo, if being a virgin wasn’t revered, would human trafficking still be such big business?
Who are these men (again a presumption) that are having sex with these slaves, and why? What makes him want to participate? I’d love to talk to you and find out what the attraction is.
Is it the fact that it’s illicit and that heightens your excitement levels? Is it that by paying you can play out all your fantasies and desires that you are somehow unable to face in your normal life? Is it easier/cheaper/simpler/more convenient than finding and maintaining a relationship? Is it sexy to have sex with someone who is in captivity?
Is it the knowledge that you have the power and she is afraid, abused and used, that gets you off?
And what is it about the virgin that makes you so excited? Is it that your ego is so small and starved that you feel that your penis being the first will make you somehow more of a man? It does say something about you and none of it good! I cannot ever imagine a real man with a healthy self image and sexuality thinking that having sex with a virgin sex slave is good, on any level, and if the idea turns you on have you not heard of Fantasy Play?
I wonder why men think they need to force women into prostitution. Many women choose to sell themselves and many more give sex away for nothing, so why do you want to force someone else to do your bidding? I’m sure that the economics of supply and demand would find its level. I understand that the ‘owner’ wants to make money off the labour of someone else’s vagina and that it’s a whole lot easier than getting your own bloody job. And what kind of a man does that?
There is outrage when a woman auctions off her own virginity but it’s okay to steal it!
I cannot help but think that the market for sex slaves exists because sex is considered perverse and a taboo. It is exists because sex is not considered a perfectly normal physical bodily function. I’m convinced it exists because sex is used as a weapon to shame, because masturbation is a ‘sin’ and sexual desires shameful and forbidden.
So could we please just get our shit together and normalise the situation. Let women accept the power they have as sexual beings, let men accept that we enjoy sex, do not have to be forced and let’s start enjoying ourselves. It may just eliminate the market and take the power away from human traffickers.
It’s just an idea! I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject. Don’t forget to follow me on twitter and I promise that next week the article will be far more fun! Email me: Sharon@lolamontez.co.za
This article first appeared in THE SATURDAY STAR