Beat Bedroom Boredom
I have a friend who says – if you’re bored, you’re boring! This statement seems to explain almost every relationship once that first burst of attraction and lust has worn off. When it seems like your sensual play is doomed to routine. Maybe you have sex on a certain night and only in a certain room, in a certain position. Maybe you are ready to scream at the thought of it! So here are some tips on shaking it up a bit.
There’s nothing as hot as being yourself—except possibly being yourself, being somebody else. Have you ever been to a masked ball or a fancy dress party? I have started wearing Wonder Woman items and it is amazing how different I feel!
It is the same excitement with Erotic Fantasy play.
Exploring your alter-egos hanging around in your erotic fantasies can be a fun and fulfilling way to uncover what really turns you on. Even if you don’t feel totally ready to claim those darker fantasies, erotic fantasy play could give you an outlet to explore.
When introducing a partner to your fantasies, it takes a bit of skill, patience, playfulness and courage to get there. It requires you to be in a trusting relationship. Nobody wants to be laughed at or find their fantasies posted on the internet. If you don’t trust your partner with your fantasies there is nothing wrong with visiting them in your head when you need to. Keep the darkest ones to yourself or they may very well appear on your divorce papers and be mindful of who your partner is.
Many of us lack imagination so using toys or erotic stories to get you thinking or in the game is a great idea. They are great tools to explore play. Go online today and check out what’s available, it makes for great foreplay!
There’s no pressure to bring your fantasies into your relationship right away. Talk about them, explore them and a word from the wise, fantasy is often far more exciting than reality.
Maybe talking about something you think will be kinky is enough. Dirty talking almost always gets everyone revved up. Timing is everything. Don’t talk dirty out of the blue! It is just rude and often off putting! If one more person sends me an emoji of an eggplant I am going to scream!
Although it is much better than a dick pick!
For that first time you open up and describe a hot scene from your own fantasies to your partner, you can draw on something you’ve read or seen.
You can always starts with I heard…
What seems like the simplest of characters, the schoolgirl and teacher, for example—there are many variations, and some might be more of a turn-off than turn-on to you. Posing as an intense, focused honors student may feel pretty different from a demure blushing first year. Likewise, you can dream up a sweet, nurturing teacher for yourself to romance, or a scheming, perverted one to teach you a few tricks—or enjoy both at the same time—why limit yourself?
Before you play together, take care to really listen to your partner about how he or she sees their part in the fantasy. This could be your first opportunity to let some creative collaboration come in to play. If you tell that you’re set on being an utter brat, and you’d like your partner to punish you for it, there may have some suggestions and alternatives. Your partner could be absolutely delighted to be your teacher, but to get into the scene you might say that by the end of your game, teacher will need to turn tender and fond of you.
A little negotiation only fine-tunes your fantasies into an even hotter shared game between you.
For fantasy play you will need some props. Your toys needn’t be specifically designed with sex in mind to provoke you. When it comes to objects you may want to use in direct genital or anal play consider investing in some dedicated toys or at a minimum, some condoms and lube to keep everything clean and your partners and safe.
Remember you are in uncharted territory so make sure that your safe words are in place. Safe words are a code that you can use to give one another permission to break character and check-in. You don’t have to save it only for moments of distress. You could decide that calling your safe word just means “time out,” and that you want to take a moment to step out of role and re-calibrate where the scene is going so that you can both continue. There’s nothing wrong with asking for a breather mid-scene.
As you play your fantasies may evolve over time. All in all the changes you both suggest just add to the game. And, over time, as you find your mutual fantasies, open up even more sexy flourishes and elaborations, you can incorporate spontaneously and instinctively. Once you take the time to get into one another’s erotic imaginations, you can take pleasure in keeping one step ahead and get that Nurse outfit you have been dreaming about.
Get yours from Lola Montez www.lolamontez.co.za
Have fun playing this week – firstname.lastname@example.org