Princess, Potential and Frogs.
his morning on my walk I had an Aha Moment! Imagine the scene…
I am doing my walk around a sports field. I am listening to music contemplating my life and its many questions. Today I was thinking about a conversation I have been having with a number of women. Where have all the men gone? We’ll come back to this discussion because it is not really important for this article. Just as I am getting into my stride I almost step on a Frog!
A frog, in the middle of Sandton, with no stream or rain in sight. Not a small frog, but rather a medium sized ugly looking amphibian. I stopped, took a photo (#frogselfie) and moved on. And then it struck me!
That frog is everything that is wrong with how women see the world.
Think about it. We are told fairy tales from before we can walk. In fact they are repeated to us consistently at our most impressionable age. Let’s start with Cinderella. To be saved from a lifetime of servitude a Prince will seek her out. Don’t even get me started on why I think women love shoes!
Then there’s Sleeping Beauty who will be saved from a lifetime of slumber by the kiss of a Prince, who seeks her out.
Snow White will be saved from death, spells, household chores and cooking for Seven Dwarves, by a Prince, who also seeks her out.
And then there is the Princess and the Frog. The frog turns into a the Prince of her dreams and voila, she lives happily ever after with 2.2 children, a white picket fence. She never has to worry about survival, laundry, grocery shopping or school fees!
We know these are stories told to us for god knows what reason. Somehow we believe that we will meet our prince who will save us from the mundane, stress filled lives. I do not know one woman not looking for a significant relationship.
The frog is an ugly, slimy mother and yet this well brought up, pretty Princess, who had other options, decided to kiss it because she saw beyond the frog. She saw its POTENTIAL! You can see where this is going – my Aha moment! In that moment of walking away from the frog I saw our problem with perfect clarity.
The frog did not seduce a house maid to kiss him and release his potential he asked the one true love, the Princess! Bloody convenient if you ask me. What completely blows my mind is that she actually kisses the frog, who then turns into a Prince who is the man of her dreams! What are the chances?
Back to the frog. It’s the potential that floors me. I have been in too many relationships for the potential I saw in the other person.
Potential in the relationship and worse than that the potential in the other person. I thought that given the right kind of loving and guidance I would be able to release all this latent potential and grab myself a prince. I would then live happily ever after.
It turns out that once I released all that potential, the frog became more attractive and hopped off with another princess or no matter how much I kissed, the transformation never happened. Many of us kiss and encourage frogs with potential. We often cannot move on because we had a glimpse of what it could be and continue to hope that with enough loving we can get things to change.
We are raised believing that it will, that we are the princess not the house maid.
Which brings me back to where have all the men gone? We know there are no Princes left. As we get older it becomes more and more difficult to find companionship, someone to have a conversation with.
It’s easy to find someone to have sex with. It doesn’t even really matter what you look like or sound like, you just have to be game. Worse than that if you are in the dating pool you are expected to have sex without as much as a movie first. I have a gorgeous friend who is recently single, she has decided to see what else is out there. Her disappointment is growing with every date. On the last three dates she has had, she has been asked why they are wasting money on a meal when they could go home and have sex! Not one of them has called back for a second date when she indicated that sex was not an option until they could discuss the political climate in Syria.
I wonder if she had capitulated and had sex whether any potential would have been unlocked.
Next week I’d like to explore this lack of men a bit more. If you are single I’d like to find out what you are looking for, where you look and how many of you are looking for companionship and conversation before looking for sex. Please email me firstname.lastname@example.org